Abyss Gazing

systlin

wodneswynn

Pagan pro tip: All of the “respected elders” in “respected groups” have all got delicious, nutritious marrow inside of their bones

wodneswynn

Many “elders” who are considered “leading authorities” also have skulls, the caps of which make excellent wine goblets.

wodneswynn

From time to time you’ll encounter people who’ll tell you that it’s bad somehow to expose and deal with all the systematic abuse that’s rampant in pagan spaces because “it’ll hurt our community.” That “so-and-so is Respected™ so we need to protect them.” These people’s veins contain blood, which is an excellent base for many soups or stews.

Source: wodneswynn

systlin

osterfields

y’all: peter was able to stop bucky’s fist in civil war bc bucky heard peter’s voice, realized he was a child, then weakened his punch bc he was so worried about hurting a child uwu

me, eating pistachios: y’all know peter can canonically lift up to 75 tons, right. y’all know bucky’s fist is easy as hell for peter to block, right. y’all know bucky didn’t know shit about peter being a child and was just shocked that someone was able to so easily block his punch, right. y’all know that, right.

tipsy-tripsee

naw fuck that bucky’s punches aren’t easy to block, it’s WAY funnier if peter blocked a full force punch from bucky, who only a few seconds later realizes he’s a kid as soon as peter opens his mouth

that’s the face of a man who went from “holy shit he blocked my punch?” to “holY SHiT a 12 YEARoLD BLOCKED mY PUNCH???” in 3 seconds flat.

systlin

fiztheancient

i cant believe there are people who still havent seen this video

jerkstorecalling

I could probably recite this entire video, word-for-word, on demand.

orbispelagium

Goddamn, this is nearly thirty years old and it fits like a glove into contemporary shitpost cadence and aesthetics, this is High Art

Source: discreet420mseeking69mforvaping

systlin

Source: veryfunnymemes

systlin

viridiandnd

Why is it that in almost every D&D group I’m in, SOMEONE wants to have a joke character. And no, I don’t mean like a choatic neutral bard or something, I mean a goddamn chicken. You wanna be a fucking chicken??? A CHICKEN???

I SPENT SO MANY HOURS CRAFTING HOMEBREW RACES, AND CLASSES AND SHIT AND YOU WANNA BE A NORMAL FUCKING CHICKEN WITH A BIG SWORD??? REALLY???? REALLLLYYYY????

So no, I don’t really mind bards.

viridiandnd

Me talking to new player: So what race and class did you decide?

Him: Umm a rouge and uuuuuh bird person.

Me: Oh an Aarakocra?

Him: A what? No, like I’m still small but … like a bird furry.

Me: A small … bird furry

Him: Yeah like a coupla inches tall … but my knives are normal size.

Me:

viridiandnd

Source: viridiandnd

systlin

wodneswynn

MFW I make an angry post and start losing followers:

lyonsdoctrine

Alternate version:

Source: wodneswynn

systlin

Reblog if you’re gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, transgender or a supporter.

canteio

This should be reblogged by everyone. Even if you’re straight, you should be a supporter.

Source: whatfaggot

systlin

gameraboy1

Painted Ladies by Jessica Harrison

Source: gameraboy1

systlin

fartgallery

If you become a vampire do you automatically become a very sharp dresser or is that a skill that you develop over time. are there novice vampires meandering around in aeropostale shirts and khaki pants

unpretty

(Key & Peele - Sexy Vampires)

Source: fartgallery

systlin

grandegyptianmuseum:
“ The back of the throne of Tutankhamun Queen Ankhesenamun holds a salve-cup and spreads perfumed oil on her husband’s collar in a typical Amarna style scene, the sun disc Aten shines above the royal couple. At the time it was...

Source: grandegyptianmuseum

systlin

gallusrostromegalus

I wonder how many homestucks out there have “Secure” passwords that are really just regular shitty passwords but with thier favorite Typing Quirk.

gallusrostromegalus

Repsonses So far:

Homestucks: I Feel Called Out And Am Being Personally Kinkshamed In My Own Home In Front Of God And My Cat

Normal people: “You know what? That’s as good a strategy as any.”

thesaurus-robot

gallusrostromegalus :

gallusrostromegalus :

cardinal amazement however some homestucks outer on that point undergo “ fortify ” passwords that square measure truly sensible usual bad passwords only with thier contender writing strangeness .

Repsonses thusly immoderate :

Homestucks : halogen property titled come out And master’s degree animate thing in person Kinkshamed metal My personal come back stylish place Of supernatural being And My adult female

practice be : “ You tell apart what ? That’s every bit healthy metric linear unit military science element immoderate . ”

ThesaurusBot 0.2.1

gallusrostromegalus

This is totally incomprehensible! Thank you!

@theshitpostcalligrapher

theshitpostcalligrapher

holy fuckin shit.

someone splurge out the 50 dollars that it’d take for me to do this whole goddamn ting

gallusrostromegalus

How much would someone have to cough up to get it written up in a homestuck typing quirk tho?

psychoticrambling

(I combined as many quirks as I could remember, kudos to anyone who can read this shit)

R3p50n5e5 7hu5ly 1mm0d3r4t3 :

)(0m35tuck5 : )(al0g3n pr0p3rty t1tl3d c0m3 0ut 4nd m45t3r’5 d3gr33 4n1m8 th1ng 1n purrs0n K1nk5)(4m3d m3t4l My purrs0n4l c0m3 b4ck styf1s)( pl4ce 0f supurrn4tur4l be1ng 4nd My 4dult f3m4l3

pr4ct1c3 bee : “ You t3ll 4p4rt ww)(at ? T)(4t’5 3v3ry b1t )(34lt)(y m3tr1c l1n34r un1t m1l1t4ry sc13nc3 3l3m3nt 1mm0d3r8 .

theshitpostcalligrapher

thanks i have necrotising fasciitis now

theshitpostcalligrapher

WHICH ONE OF YOU MOTHERFUCKERS